I've been feeling for awhile that something is amiss in my life. It might be difficult to understand how a woman who seemingly has everything... a successful career, a handsome husband, money in the bank, pretty shoes, a dream kitchen, 7.5 carats, and no debt except an almost paid off house in the Connecticut suburbs could feel that way, but if you've read Eat, Pray Love, you might understand where I'm coming from.
I don't have children and I live below my means for philosophical and environmental reasons, but also to be free to live life on my own terms. It's a good plan, but the execution is flawed. I live in a place I don't particularly like. I go to work. I come home. I cook. I clean. I sew. I waste time on the internet. I daydream about places I'd like to visit, different places I could live, and the things I'd like to experience. I feel like life is whipping by me and I'm just hanging out, dreaming. I don't want another 10 years to go by and realize that I'm still stuck where I am, still dreaming instead of doing because I'm too lazy or afraid to make a change.
If I learned anything in Berlin, it's that the world isn't all that scary even if you're thousands of miles from home in an unfamiliar place where you don't speak the language and can't figure out the public transit system. In general, people are cool and they're usually willing to help you if you ask nicely (or smile sweetly and point on a map to where you're trying to go). My memories of Berlin will always be some of my happiest because I finally dared to experience something different, instead of just thinking about it, and despite the frigid weather and moments of uncertainty, I had an awesome time.
The point of this post is to say that I've made the complex decision to end my nine year marriage and move to Denmark. I've been in this relationship since I was 21 and suddenly not being in it is a bit jarring, but I think it's for the best, and I hope and believe that we will remain lifelong friends. Despite an amicable split, this is still the most painful decision I've ever made, and I hope every day that I've made the right choice.
I've dreamed of living in Europe since I was a little girl, and it's almost beyond my comprehension that it's happening!
I don't romanticize my situation. It's a bit unsettling to be alone again, to leave my home, and move across the Atlantic, and I've spent enough time in Denmark over the past 3+ years to have a pretty good idea of what my life will be like. I probably won't have a car, I'll pay a significant percentage of my income to taxes, it's not a particularly veg-friendly country, the cost of living is very high, and I don't speak the language. But I will bring my bike, I will use my frugal skills, I will become a more creative cook, I will learn to speak Danish, and I will accept that I'm no longer in the US, and approach my new life with an open mind and heart.
I'm leaving Friday for a marathon trip that will keep me in Denmark until early March. The details of my move are still being worked out, but I hope you'll follow me on this crazy (and I hope, wonderful) adventure...